


7 years

by smolheart



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Child Abuse, Childhood, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, They're gonna age as the fic goes on but, the non con is a flashback in chapter 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-23 21:15:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6130300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolheart/pseuds/smolheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based off the song 7 years by lukas graham so you might wanna listen to that before reading </p><p>each "age" of the song is gonna get 2-3 chapters depending on how i see fit, also henry laurens is a dick. </p><p>tldr; growing up fic</p><p>// on hold till Suddenly is done</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. once i was 7 years old

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: fn-hamilton

7 years  
“Once I was seven years old my momma told me  
Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely  
Once I was seven years old”

Alexander sat criss-cross in the middle of the hallway, reading a book and humming to himself. His dark hair was pulled back into a low ponytail that ended just below his shoulders, but a few stray strands fell into his eyes. He was so caught up in his reading that he didn’t notice Martha, his foster mother, coming down the hallway with a basket of laundry. She didn’t see him either and would have tripped over him if she didn’t look down when she did.

“Alex honey can you let me through?”

He practically leaped to his feet, grabbing his book and pressing against the wall to let her through, opening his book to continue where he left off as soon as her back was too him. He didn't get far though, as she paused after a few steps and turned back to him.

“Put down the book and go play outside, the sunlight will do you some good and I believe the new neighbors have a boy your age.”

Alex sighed, but obeyed and went outside anyways, his head throbbing at the sudden sunlight in his face. Martha watched him leave out the window, George next to her. She turned to him, sighing as she watched the little boy walk down the sidewalk reading.

“I’m worried for him George, if he doesn’t make some friends he’ll be lonely when school starts.”

George wrapped an arm around her and kissed her head, he couldn’t bring himself the disagree.

-

Martha was right, the neighbors did have a boy Alexander's age. At the time, he was sitting on his driveway playing with a turtle he had seen crossing the road. Alex had been reading his book as he walked but stopped when he saw the other boy in the corner of his eye. He shut his book and walked over slowly, studying the other boy intently. He had shoulder length curly hair that framed his freckle covered face.

“Hi…”

Alex spoke softly, the other boy lifting his head to look at him, his lips curved in a small smile.

“Hello, do you wanna pet my turtle?”

He held it up to Alexander like a trophy, the animal promptly ducking their head back into their shell. Alex nodded and reached his hand out, petting it with caution, as if it might break.

“His name is Phillip.”

Alex continued to pet him for another moment before pulling his hand away and sitting down next to John, sticking his hand out and waiting for him to shake it. That was how he was taught to greet most everyone he met so he didn’t understand why he flinched before he shook his hand.

“My name is Alexander Hamilton.”

“I’m John Laurens.”

The boys sat in silence for a minute, John breaking the silence first.

“What’s your book called?”

He pointed to the book tucked under Alexs arm and he pulled it out, holding it out like John had his turtle.

“Magic Tree House. It's about two siblings who go back in time and go on adventures.”

Alex dropped it in Johns lap and he picked it up, studying the picture on the front more than the words.

“You can borrow it if you wanna, I've read it before.”

John nodded and tucked it under his arm. He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a voice from the front door. John jumped at the sound of it, Alex raising an eyebrow before standing on his tip toes to put a face to the voice. The man at the door looked about the same age as George, his hair just about as curly as Johns but significantly shorter, and slicked down.

“Jack I thought I said to come in 30 minutes ago. Come on now.”

John scampered to his feet, clutching Phillip and turning back to Alexander as a fearful demeanor washed over him.

“Will you come outside tomorrow?”

“Promise.”

Alex nodded and went to say something else but John was darting up the steps to the front door before he could. The door slammed closed behind him and he thought he heard a faint yell, but brushed it off as nothing.

-

It wasn't nothing. As soon as the door shut behind him, Henry, the man Alex had seen calling John had him by his shirt collar, pressing him against the door an yelling in his face.  
“What did I tell you about staying out too long? Don't you ever listen to me?”

His voice got louder with every word and John shook violently. Letting go of his shirt, he tossed the boy to the floor and kicked him in the direction of the stairs. He pulled himself up off the floor, still shaking like a leaf in the wind as he wiped his tear covered face with his sleeve. Being grabbed made him knock both Phillip and his book to the floor. Henry took notice of the dropped objects first and picked them up, raising an eyebrow at the book before throwing both things at John. Luckily he caught them, which seemed to tick off Henry greatly. 

“Get out of my sight brat.”

With that he took off up the stairs, clutching the book Alex had gave him along with Phillip. When he reached his room he sunk to the floor and cried. Letting Phillip down, he studied the book through blurred vision, tracing the picture on the cover with his finger slowly. He could only hope he would keep his word about coming back.

-

Just like he promised, Alexander went back outside the next day, and the next day, and the next day. John looked forward to these meetings daily, but was more careful than ever to be in by 4:30 like his father warned him to. Even then, it was always something with Henry. Alex however, remained to naive to question the bruises. 2 weeks into their driveway meetings, Alex decided he wanted to go somewhere else with John for a change.

“Do you wanna come back to my house? I don’t think George and Martha will mind.”

John thought on the question and glanced towards his front door before standing up and nodding. As long as he was still back by 4:30 there shouldn't be an issue, right? He wondered why Alex called what he assumed were his parents their first names. He talked about them fondly, describing Georges job as dean of a local college and the way Martha sang while she worked, but he never referred to them as mom and dad.

“Why don’t you call your parents mom and dad?”

“Cause they aren’t.”

John stopped in his tracks and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, Alex fiddling with his hands.

“I don’t know where my real parents are, no one does. I’m staying with them until they get sick of me and send me away.”

Alex had been with the Washingtons for 3 months, the longest any family had kept him around. He wanted to believe he would be with them for another 3 but he tried not to get his hopes up too much.

“Does that mean you're gonna leave?”

John looked upset and it made Alex sad to see the smaller boy so distraught. He liked his new friend, he didn't look forward to the day the Washingtons did send him away. Instead of responding he just shrugged, the pair now at the front door of the house. He pushed the door open with hand and grabbed Johns hand with the other, not paying enough attention to notice when he jumped a little at his touch.

“Oh hello Alex!”

Martha exclaimed as the he more or less dragged John behind him into the living room. John looked around his house in awe, paintings covered every wall and the furniture looked straight out of a magazine. His own home wasn't necessarily run down, but compared to Alexs house it might as well have been. When they reached Martha, John studied her carefully. Shoulder length brunette hair framed her thin face and her hazel eyes appeared welcoming, John wanted to trust her but her voice was loud it made him nervous. 

“And who might this be?”

She noticed the significantly smaller boy, who was now white as a sheet, and knelt down to his level.

“M'names John.”

“This is John Laurens he lives 2 houses down and he has a turtle named Phillip and I let him borrow my...”

Martha giggled as Alexander rambled on proudly about his friend, John returning to his normal color as he got more comfortable next to Alex. Alex held his hand tightly , his fingers wrapped tightly around his. In any other circumstance he would hate this type of contact but it made him feel safe, which was a rarity for him. 

“Why don't you go show John your room Alex?”

Alex nodded and before Martha could say another word he was off down the hallway, walking slower than he had before but chatting to him a mile a minute. Martha turned around the walk into the kitchen but couldn't stop herself from watching Alex guide his friend down the hallway. Within seconds she regretted not stopping herself, quickly spotting of a hand shaped bruise on the back of Johns arm.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on tumblr: fn-hamilton

7 years  
“It was a big big world,  
but we thought we were bigger.”

John and Alex stayed in his room for hours, talking about everything under the sun. John taught Alex about turtles and in return Alex blabbed about the American Revolution for as long as he would let him. They got so caught up in what they were doing they didn't notice when the sun started to set, signaling 4:30 had come on go. Henry Laurens noticed, which drove him to walk right over to the Washingtons house and knock on the door. Martha exited her room for the first time in hours, opening the door and doing a one over of the man. There was definitely no mistake he was his father, he looked just like him. 

“My boy came over here?”

Henry's demeanor was relatively charismatic, if she hadn’t already made assumptions about him he would come off as kind man. But the bruise on Johns arm told quite a different story,

“Uh yes….let me get them.”

She turned to walk down the hall to get the boys, but they met her halfway, John looked panic stricken and Alex just looked confused, looking between Henry and John with a perplexed expression. Martha joined him in looking between the pair, drawing in a sharp breath as she turned to face Henry. It would be a lie to say he wasn't intimidating.

“I’m sure Alex would love to have John spend the night if that's okay with you.”

Alex bounced on his heels, completely oblivious to the tension in the room as Henry rolled his eyes, shooting a glare towards John. 

“I’ll be back at 8:30 tomorrow morning, no later.”

His fake polite tone was gone and he was clearly irritated, but he walked out the door before anyone could say anything further.

-

“Alex why don’t you go read for a bit while I take John to find some things for tonight?”

Alex wasn’t one to turn down reading, but the curly haired boy looked anxious at the thought of being alone with her. Grabbing his hand he turned to him and whispered in his ear, though his whisper was more like a stage whisper.

“When you come back we go in George's office and play on the computer if ya want.”

John cracked a small smile and nodded, letting go of his hand and joining Martha.  
-  
Alex walked back to his room and grabbed a book before hopping on his bed. He liked John a lot. His previous foster families didn't encourage him to socialize, which was good in the aspect that it allowed him more time to read but bad in the fact that he wasn't exactly good at socializing now that he had the chance. But with John it was different, John was like him, and in more ways than he was aware of.  
-  
“You’ll probably fit Alex's clothes just fine but let me get you a toothbrush.”

Martha dug around in the cabinet, eventually finding one and handing it back to John. She wanted to mention his father, ask him about the bruise on his arm, but if he looked panic stricken just looking at him she didn’t imagine he would hold up well talking about him. But if he did say something, scaring him a little will have been worth it.

“John?”

She turned around and got back onto his level. She had only noticed the hand shaped bruise earlier, but upon further examination of his arms, she realized they were covered in bruises. Her heart shattered. 

“How did that happen?”

She spoke softly as to not scare him, pointing to the blue and purple markings. 

“I fell.”

John liked Martha, he really did. She was kind and quiet, she reminded of his own mother who had passed away a year ago. But even then, he wouldn't break the promise he made Henry. He would find out, he always found out.  
-  
“What a pity you fell down the stairs John”

He would whisper in his ear before sending him away,his tone of voice made him sick. Those words rang through his head as he fiddled with his hands.  
-  
“And how did you fall sweetheart?” 

Martha knew better than to believe that hand shaped bruises were caused by a fall, but she wasn't going to get anything out of him by calling him a liar. She had been through the same situation with Alex when he first came into their home. He wasn't covered in bruises on the outside but his silence and jitteriness for the first two weeks revealed the bruises he had on the inside. 

“Just...fell.”

His bottom lip trembled as he spoke, his eyes starting to glaze over. Marthas face sank and she placed a hand on his shoulder. He jumped a little, but didn't pull away. Like Alex, she made him feel safe, even if he was terrified. 

“John you can tell me anything, please know that.”

John, who's eyes were now trained on the floor, shook his head. He couldn't. He wouldn't. 

“Can't break a promise.”

Martha let out a long sigh and brought his head up with her hand gently. It was clear she wasn't going to get anything out of him, but she knew someone who John might be more willing to talk to.

“Would you rather talk to Alex?”

He nodded slowly and she stood back up, taking his hand and walking him into the hallway and letting him go in the direction of the door. When she saw the door shut behind him, she slipped next to it and stood against the the wall.  
-  
“Alex?”

Alex looked up from his book and was met by a tearful John standing in front of his bed. He put his book down and jumped off his bed, taking John by the shoulders, finally noticed how he jumped. It hit him. He hadn't always been in foster homes as nice as this one, and it took a month for him to get used to not flinching when someone raised their voice. He knew.

As Martha predicted, John was comfortable enough with Alex to talk to him, even if it was through tears. Alex stood quietly and listened as he went on about Henry, talking how he picked up the bottle after his mother died and never really put it back down. He told him about the bruises on his arms, and pulled up his khakis to show him the bruises covering his legs from being thrown onto stairs almost daily. 

Martha, who had been standing outside the door ran her fingers through her hair and blinked back tears, pulling out her phone, calling George as she walked out onto the porch. 

Meanwhile in Alex's’ room, Alex and John were sitting against his bed where they had settled when John couldn't bring himself to say anything else about Henry, John curled against Alex's side, hiccuping through the last of his tears. Alex placed his arms around him carefully, using one hand to play with her curls. They stayed like that until John was calm enough to sit up. Pulling his book off his bed, Alex opened it and read out loud until both boys were too tired to keep their eyes open, and drifted off to sleep.  
-  
Their rest was short lived when Johns eyes snapped open 3 hours later, glancing around the now pitch black room in a panic. He hated the dark. Nothing could came out of the dark, he watched his mother's body get lifted out of the dark, his father's voice came from the dark.

He stood up and walked to the door, he could see light through the crack. Opening it as quietly as he possibly could, he slipped out. Alex was still sound asleep, but must to Johns dismay, the Washingtons were not. The light he had seen through the door was coming from the living room where the pair sat on the couch watching TV. He continued on his path until he realized they were there and turned around the run back to Alex's room. He didn't make it far, losing his footing about halfway down the hallway and falling to the floor. The impact made every bruise on his body sting. 

The noise startled George and Martha, George leaping off the couch and running out of the room before Martha could stop him. 

“Alexander?”

He called out before noticing the boy on the floor, and noticing that it wasn't Alex.

The yelling had sent John into a panic attack, his body shaking and beads of sweat dripping down his face as he slowly picked himself off up the ground, standing up as straight as he could to look at George. 

“I-I’m sorry Mr.Washington I’m sorry I’m sorry.”

He repeated the two word phrase like a broken record until George cut him off, crouching down so he didn’t tower above him.

“No need to be sorry John.”

George raised a hand to place on his shoulder but regretted it when John squeezed his eyes shut up and hunched his shoulders, bracing himself for a hit. He was fine with Martha and Alex, but George reminded him too much of his father for him to be comfortable around him. By now Martha had walked in.

“Let me take him, you call CPS.”

John ran to Martha as soon as he saw her behind George, reaching up and grabbing her hand, and resting his little body against her side. She walked him back to Alexs room and kissed his head before letting him in, smiling a little as she watched him curl right back up against Alex, who was still sound asleep. For a moment she forgot the hurricane that was now brewing around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor john ):  
> at least he has little ol alex even if hes oblivious sometimes  
> -  
> your feedback/comments are super appreciated so please keep them coming!!!  
> i"m gonna do one more chapter with them at 7 and then jump into 11


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Just a warning that this chapter deals with some pretty heavy stuff regarding abuse, including sexual abuse. Its all post-event/flashbacks but it could still be triggering. If you are someone you know are/is being emotionally, physically, or sexually abused PLEASE tell somebody. You are never alone.**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> tumblr: fn-hamilton

7 years  
“Pushing each other to the limits  
we were learning quicker.”  
-  
Alex had been an early bird from the moment he was born, at 4:30 am. Today was no exception and he woke up at 7:00, gently lifting John off of him and walking to the window. Parked in front of their house was a black minivan, the sight of it made him feel sick. He knew who that car belonged to, and the voices coming from the living room confirmed that it was social workers. Shutting the blinds, he shook John awake.

“Hmm?”

John sat upright, rubbing his eyes. He was half asleep, but woke right up when he noticed how panicky he was. 

“They’re back, they’re sending me away.” 

Alex wasn’t much of a crier, so it spoke volumes when tears started to fall down his face. He liked the Washington's and thought they were fond of him, but he assumed he had thought wrong. Before John could offer any words of comfort, he was dragging a bag out of his closet and dumping all of his belongings in it. 

“John Laurens?”

John had to suppress his giggles at the sight of him dragging along a bag half the size of him as he walked over. Letting it drop to the floor he reached out and grabbed his hand, running his thumb over his knuckles and pressing a kiss to his cheek, which made Johns cheeks flush pink.

“Alexander, you’re the closest friend I’ve got.”

Alex nodded, his lips forming a frown as he grasped his hand and walked out into the living room, where Martha and George were sitting with two social workers. 

“I’m ready to go.”

The social workers raised eyebrows, George looking at Alex confused before spotting his duffle bag by his feet and leaning over to whisper to Martha.  
“Alexander you aren’t going anywhere, but these ladies need to talk to John.”  
Alexander looked at Martha confused, but let the subject go to concentrate on the fact that he could feel Johns hand shaking in his. From Alexs reaction to them, it didn’t appear to him that social workers were a positive thing and he sure as hell didn’t want to be in a room alone with them.

“Can Alex come?”

The two social workers, young woman with slicked back buns and fancy name tags, nodded and walked into the next room, motioning for the boys to follow them.  


“What can you tell us about your father John?”

The first lady spoke in a quiet manner, while the other held a clipboard in her lap. John sat on the couch next to Alex,holding his hand tightly and trying to refrain himself from curling into Alexs side.

“He gets angry a lot.”

Lady 2 jotted what he had said down, the first one placing a hand on his knee before asking another question. It didn’t stay there long, as he jerked his leg back and brought his knees to his chest. Alex shot a glare at the worker, who now looked like she had seen a ghost,

“I’m sorry I scared you, I promise we’re here to help you, can you tell he what he does when he gets angry?”

He kept his knees pressed against his chest, running his thumb over Alexs palm as he talked. 

“He grabs me, and yells, and throws me on the stairs. That's it most of the time but sometimes he comes back upstairs and-” 

Tears had been building up in his eyes since he had seen the social workers and he was cut off mid sentence by his own choked out sob. Alex wrapped his free arm around him, letting go of his hand briefly to wipe his face. Alex could feel his body shaking against him. Whatever he was holding off telling the social workers he hadn’t told him. He hadn’t mentioned anything outside of being hit around and thrown on the stairs.  
The social workers seemed to take the hint, sighing and whispering to each other, clipboard lady jotting a few more things down. John had stopped shaking, but tears still spilled down his cheek as opened his mouth to talk.

“H-he makes me do things…” -  
-  
_“What did I tell you about cleaning up after yourself Jack?”_

_Henry paced the room, John sitting on his bed wishing he could melt into the mattress._

_“To-to do it.”_

_His eyes were filled to the brim with tears, but he couldn’t let himself cry. That was another one of his rules._

_“Well since you don’t listen to me you ought to be punished.”_

_He cracked his knuckles and approached the bed, fiddling with the zipper on his jeans._  
-  
Martha and George had been listening to the conversation from the other room. As John slowly and tearfully went into details about the other predicaments he was put into, George turned red with anger.

“I’m going over there and giving the disgusting pig a piece of my damn mind.”

His hands were balled in fists as he stood up, walking out the door before Martha could stop him, even if she could have she wouldn’t.

The time was around 8:20, so Henry was just getting ready to leave the house when he saw George barreling towards him. 

“Mr.Washington! Go-”

He was cut off by Georges fist colliding with his mouth, his class ring cutting his lip open. Pulling his hand away, he pushed him to the ground and spit on him.

“Go to hell.”  
-  
Meanwhile at the house, the social workers had wrapped up their work and left, now in the company of two police officers. John had been able to stop crying and shaking, but he stayed pressed up against Alex, Martha sitting next to them and humming quietly. She texted with the social workers, who had told her it would be preferable for John to stay with them until they found a family member to take him in. The door opened and knowing it was George, she went to get it, leaving the boys alone.

“John?”

Alex looked down at the freckled boy whose head was now resting on his lap. 

“Hm?”

John sat up a little, twirling his hair around his finger and chewing on his bottom lip. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about the other stuff?”

Johns face dropped and he turned away from Alex. Of course he was mad at him. He wanted to tell him, he really did, But he felt humiliated, after all in his eyes it was all caused by his own doing. Alex could never get that, or so he thought. 

“You wouldn’t understand.”

Alex lowered his head, putting a hand on Johns shoulder and looking at the back of his head.

“I do.”

John turned around, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, but it dawned on him soon enough. Sighing, he curled himself back up against Alex and took his hand, messing with his fingers quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that's the last chapter of them being 7, in the next one they will be 11.  
> please comment your thoughts!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: fn-hamilton  
> in next two chapters our smols are 11  
> -sorry its so short and dialogue heavy, the next one is going to be a lot longer i just felt like i couldn't write more for this chapter without it running into the idea i have for the next one.   
> -yes i know as a general rule people write alex as bi but as of right now he is 11 and a little confused so please don't come after me, this story is far from over

_Prologue: In 2 weeks time an aunt willing to take John in had been found. She was a kind woman and had a few children of her own so for the first time in his life John would be okay. As for Alex, 3 months turned into 9 months and the Washingtons adopted him just after his 8th birthday. When he was 10 they adopted another boy, Phillip, 2 years younger than Alex. The name made Alex laugh because he associated it with Johns turtle but they grew close quickly. Johns aunt lived close enough so that the boys could see each other often, and they did._  
-  
11 years  
“Once I was eleven years old my daddy told me  
Go get yourself a wife or you'll be lonely.”  
-  
The Washington's sat around the dinner table, eating and discussing the events of the past week. It was Alex's first week of middle school and Philips of the 4th grade. Both boys attended a private K-12 school outside of Manhattan and Alex hated it because he didn’t get to go to the same school as John but he couldn’t get the Washington's to budge on the matter. 

“You boys meet any ladies yet?”

George chuckled and raised an eyebrow at the two of them. Alex rolled his eyes, Philip turning red.

“No, but I think Philip has...”

He nudged his brother, silently thanking god he had an answer because he sure as hell did not.

“There's a girl named Peggy who talks to me at recess! She has curly hair and wears dresses every day but I didn't mind it cause she looks pretty.”

“Peggy Schuyler?.”

George set his fork down and raised an eyebrow, Alex mentally sighing. Of course George would get all excited about his son interacting with a Schuyler girl, all 3 of them coming from an extremely wealthy family, even if said son was only nine years old. Phillip nodded excitedly. 

“Keep her around for as long as you can "

George spoke in a sarcastic manner, but it wouldn’t be a stretch to say he would be fine with his 4th grader being in a serious relationship if it was with a Schuyler sister. Picking his fork back up, he turned to Alex and put him in the hot seat. 

“How about you son?”

Alex shook his head, not meeting George's eyes as he picked at his food. He talked to the older two Schuyler sisters who were lovely girls, but they were just friends and he didn't feel it necessary to change that.

“Better start looking soon son, wouldn't want you to be lonely.”

“He is in 6th grade George!”

“Starting em young.”

George and Martha laughed to themselves, failing to notice how his face dropped and how he stayed silent for the rest of dinner.  
-  
The next day was spent at the Laurens house, Phillip playing outside with the younger kids while Alex and John sat in his room, alternating between drawing and reading.

John sat on his bed, Alex at his side on the floor, working on a turtle drawing and shading in its shell as he hummed quietly to himself. To anyone else it would look like the boys wanted nothing to do with one another, but their silence was comfortable. Comfortable, but short lived as Alex looked up from his book and tapped Johns side to get his attention.

“Mhm?”

He put down his pencil and looked down at him, his curls falling in front of his eyes.

“Can I ask you something? It’s kinda serious.”

John nodded, twirling his pencil in his hand as he studied the boy on the floor.

“Do you ever feel like you aren't into girls? At dinner yesterday George was going on about finding a girl and Philip went on for a good 5 minutes about Peggy Schuyler but I couldn't think of any girl I've ever liked as more than a friend, I can't see myself ever liking one as more than a friend.”

He tripped over his words, trying to talk as fast as he could. Thankfully John was used to his speech pattern so that he could understand what he was saying. Understanding his words were one thing but realizing that he understood his feelings too hit him like a ton of bricks.

“John?”

Two minutes had passed and he had remained silent, still twirling his pencil through his fingers.

“I feel that way too.”

He dropped his pencil and sighed, eyeing Alex nervously. He had felt that way since he was 9, and crushed on his aunt's friends boy for a brief period of time, but couldn't grasp it until recently. His aunt was an avid news watched and all it had been covering lately was the fight for same sex rights. His aunt didn't let him watch the news with her and thought it best to shelter him from the "harsh cruel world", even though he had already been quite exposed to it. But at night he would sneak out of his room and stand on the stairs listening to the TV from downstairs.

“It's called gay isn't it? When boys like other boys?”

Alex pulled his eyebrows together in thought and John nodded, watching Alex's lips curve into a frown.

“I don't think George likes them very much, he gets all frustrated when they talk about it on the news.”

John slid over and patted the spot on his bed next to him, Alex grabbing his book and hopping in next to him. He crossed his legs and thought about resting his head on Johns shoulder but chose not to, instead just looking at him and messing with hands in his lap.

“You won't tell anyone will ya?”

“Pinky promise.”

John picked up Alex's hand to link their pinkies, and leaving them that way as he continued on his drawing. Alex watched him quietly for a bit and eventually let his head drop to his shoulder, not noticing how John smiled when he felt the weight of Alex resting against his side.   
-  
At 6:00 George came to pick the boys up, Philip going on about Johns cousins and George nodding as he listened to the radio, Fox News of course. 

“Coming in now to us, the Supreme Court just announced it will be reviewing the case to make same sex marriage in all 50 states..,your thoughts on this Gretta?”

Alex sat up a little straighter at the mention of same sex marriage, only to hunker back town when George slammed the radio off. His expression was exasperated to say the least.

“Dumb and disgusting.” 

He mumbled a few other choice words about the news to himself, unaware that Alex could hear him and that he was holding his breath to keep himself from crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya'll probably hate me for making washington a dick but in reality he wasn't that great of a person and i swear i'm not going to make him henry level awful so!!!!
> 
> -i love seeing your feedback so please don't be afraid to comment  
> \- next chapter should be out on friday (:


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its short and more of a filler chapter before i move onto 16 + theres no john in this but we meet laf so hopefully its okay
> 
> tumblr: fn-hamilton

11 years  
continued  
-  
When they got home Alex went straight to his room, flopping on his bed and letting out a muffled sob into his pillow. He had so much hope for the Washington's. They weren't like his other foster families, they didn't scream and yell or force him to do the unimaginable. They were kind and compassionate and he loved them. But they would only love him as long as they didn't know the truth. Sitting up, he grabbed his journal from his bedside table and began writing a letter to George and Martha, one he would never give to them. He was two paragraphs in when he heard his door creak open, Phillip poking his head in. 

“Can I come in?”

Alex nodded and the young boy let himself in, closing the door behind him and seating himself next to him on the bed.

“You were crying.” 

Philip spoke sadly, Alex not looking up. He hated crying in front of anyone period but the last person he wanted to see him like this was his little brother.

“Yeah...I was.”

He looked up and sighed, Phillip moving over to rest on his side, noticing the journal in his lap and picking it up. Alex was too distraught to notice.

“Dear George and Martha,

I think I’m g-”

Before Philip could complete the sentence Alex snatched the journal off of him and chucked it across the room. He knew it could have been worse, he could flipped one page and read about how he felt about certain friends of his but his whole plan to keep his feelings secret was falling apart quickly.

“You think you’re gay?”

Alex wasn’t surprised that he knew what it meant, Phillip was wise beyond his years. What he didn’t know was who he sided with on the morality of it. Alex nodded slowly, blinking back more tears.

“I won’t tell them.”

Phillip seemed to understand the weight of the situation, pecking Alexs cheek before hopping off the bed and leaving the room.

-

Sunday came and went without much excitement, but the house was unusually quiet without Alex talking every second of the day. Monday however was quite a different story. Alex and Phillip boarded the school bus as they normally did, Phillip sliding in next to Peggy and Alex sitting alone, for about 10 minutes. As the bus made its rounds more and more kids got on, most of them walking right past Alex until a dark skinned boy with a head full of curly hair, just slightly less so than Johns, sat down next to him. 

“Ello! I’m Marquis Lafayette, but you can call me Laf.” 

He spoke with a thick french accent which made Alex perk up a little, as he spoke a little himself.

“Salut! Je suis Alex”

Lafs eyes lit up when he heard Alex speak in french, tripping over his words as he responded.

“Tu parle français?”

“Un peu”

Alex shrugged and Laf laughed as he switched back to English.

“No worry, I’m fluent in both, both of my dads are French natives though.”

Dads, he had two dads. A million thoughts ran through Alexs head as he tried to think of a way to respond that wouldn’t send Laf running towards the back of the bus. 

“Dads?”

He came off sounding a lot more surprised than he wanted to, which made Laf frown a little. 

“Mm yeah.”

He began to drop his head but Alex was rattling off again before he could.

“No no no it’s not a bad thing, I just don’t know anyone else who does, I’m glad I do now.”

Laf looked back up and giggled a little, Alex sighing in relief that he hadn’t upset him.

“Glad to be the first!”  
-

When they got to school they were pleasantly surprised to see they shared almost all of their classes, which they took advantage of to talk non-stop. By the end of the day Laf had told him all about his dad's, one of them a descendent of french royalty and the other a family friend turned husband. They had just moved from France after the death of his grandmother and both men would be working in the embassy. In return Alex shared as much of his story as he thought it was necessary to, that he was in foster care till the George, a dean at NYU, and Martha Washington adopted him and that he had a brother. They sat together on the bus ride home, Alex scrawling his address and home phone number on the back of his hand before he got off. 

The house was quiet when Alex and Phillip walked in, which was normal, but today it just felt off. Phillip took off to go play in the backyard and Alex wandered into the living room to find George watching the news. The current clip playing on the screen was two men walking into the french embassy, a smaller curly haired boy in tow. Alex immediately recognized him as Laf, smiling as he sat down not to George.

“More of their type coming into this country all high and mighty as if they aren’t living a sin against humanity.”

Alex let out a sigh, louder than he had expected when George turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

“I met their son today, he’s really nice and-”

“I don’t want you speaking to him.”

George spoke in a tone of voice that made Alex afraid of him, something that was extremely rare.

“But he’s my-”

“No buts, you will not be speaking to him and if Martha or I should find out you have there will be punishment.”

Alex wanted to chuckle when he mentioned Martha, who he heard mumbling about George being a bigot on numerous occasions but suppressed it and nodded. With that, George got up and left, leaving Alex with the news still on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the next chapter they'll be 16 and john will be back

**Author's Note:**

> hello if you liked this please comment so i don't think my idea was too out there, also if you know the song and have any ideas for future chapters i'd love to hear them.


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